There's Several Different Levels of Devil Worshippin'

Horse's heads, human sacrifice, cannibalism, candles and exorcism
Animals, havin' sex with'em; camels mammals and rabbits
But I don't get into that, I kick the habit - I just,
Beat you to death with weapons that eat through the flesh
And I never eat you unless the fuckin', meat looks fresh
I got a lion in my pocket, I'm lyin', I got a nine in my pocket
And baby I'm just, dyin' to cock him



*********************

Things went well today. I ran basically break even for 3 of the four sets but one set was banging. I ran absolutely terrible in my last set and figured I was gonna post a loss of some size for that session, I actually post a small win. I was shocked. The $10s are ridiculously soft. I'm still not playing as well in every game as I'd like to be, but I am playing a lot better than I have been.

I'm gonna rinse and repeat for tomorrow and post another 4 sessions and see how things go. I'm really looking forward to possibly logging some $50s Monday. It'll be a fresh month and hopefully I can set things right.

Today wasn't really taxing to get in four sessions the way I'm playing now, but at the $50s I'll be playing 4 less tables to start out, at least for a bit. That will take me a bit longer to get in a 50 game session at that rate, which means I might only get in 3 sets a day for a bit. I just need to maintain my focus and get at least 150 games a day in for a week or so, hopefully build the roll up and then get a little more aggressive. If I can play well and maintain a cool head while playing and build up a bit then I can play catchup at the $100s at the end of December if I have to.

It's looking to stand at about 5500 games at the $50s to make it happen. That's a very, very intense month of play no matter how I chock it up. It's more games than I logged this month between Cake and Stars combined. Throw in exams and I'm probably tearing off more than I should be trying to chew but I want Supernova bad enough to take it on. The tough part is figuring out when I'm gonna shop for Christmas gifts. Sigh. I have no idea what I'm getting anybody and I'm only really concerned with what I end up getting my gf. Everyone else can grow the fuck up if you ask me.

That's all really. I got a ton of grinding to do and I just hope to fuck I can pull this miracle shit off. Wish me luck.

Day Delious, Have You Spoke With My Sanity?

I've just been meddling around with different things the last few days. Playing some 50NL full ring (those games are definitely profitable, it's something I could see myself playing at a higher stake next year possibly, full ring that is). I played another set at the $50s last night, just brief, maybe 40 games or so. I lost about 3.5 BI. I wasn't running great but I was playing better.

I've decided on a course of action for the remainder of November. I'm gonna log games at the $10s, dedicating a ton of focus with no background distractions; the only other thing occurring around me will be music (and interruptions from my devilish fucking cat). I posted one session tonight and things went well. I'm using a script that loads the games for me and stops loading after X numbers of games so it allows me to keep a steady number open. The annoying part is my monitor isn't really large enough and the load screens pop in front of my games and my hands sometimes, which can be rather annoying.

It's fine for now... I may make a decision to purchase myself a better setup at some point. My setup now isn't much, it's just a 15" laptop, but it does the trick. I've got a desktop with a 17" monitor that I could use or use the monitor through my laptop, but it's not even wide screen so there's not much point. Maybe some day I'll stop being a nit and buy myself something nice.

Anyways. I'll log games at the $10s until at least December 1st and then see where my roll is at. If I have a few more BI for the $50s at that point I'll probably take another shot. My idea is basically that if I can get into a position to be comfortably rolled for the $50s and playing my best game again, then I can still try to get Supernova.

I'm realizing now just how much I was letting my game slip. I can see things that I was doing that don't make sense for the DoNs. It's entirely my fault and I should be sick over it. It really doesn't even faze me though. That's just a part of poker. It's a learning experience. It's the subtle things you let creep in that end up developing into full blown leaks over time.

If I were able to advance back to the $50s and do well again on December 1 then I'd have to start logging 180ish games a day to make pace again. My plan would be to play well, focus, don't over exert myself by playing too many tables which will in turn allow me to pay more attention to regulars. If I can do that then at the end of the month I'd be able to move to the $100s if I was slightly behind pace.

I'm torn I let things slip and it was a costly lesson, but hopefully I'll be able to overcome. I'll be looking to put in around 500 games at the $10s this weekend, so that's about 10 sessions. I plan to arrange the script to register me for a total of 50 games (probably set it a bit higher since it seems to miss a few games) and I'm not sure how many tables I should do. I did 21 the last session but I found myself timing out a couple times due to the script bogging me down a bit. I may try 19 next session, not sure. When I move to the $50s for a shot again I'll be doing 15 tables for the first few days at the least, still 50 games sets. Looking to get in about 4 sets of 50 a day.

Anyways I'm gonna go log another session at the $10s. Here's hoping I can pull something wonderful off next month and make Supernova after all.

Day 12, And We're Cut Short

Well, that's it. The battle has been lost, the race is over... I'm cutting my losses short and calling it quits. I've lost more in the past week and a half than I won this month overall. I haven't had a winning session since things went sour. It's been one losing session after another, and I can blame it on variance and running bad but I feel my play has deteriorated as well.

The money isn't what's upsetting me, it's the fact that it was a means to an end; the end being Supernova. I wanted it so bad, it was within reach, it was just a matter of putting in the volume. But the games got polluted with regulars, good and bad, chalk me to whichever category you see fit, but regardless I can't overcome at this point.

It's really soul crushing. I don't know where to go from here because all of my plans involved being Supernova next year. Now what, back to grinding the $6.50 9-mans? I don't even know if I feel confident playing the $16s. It's an awful mind frame to be in, but fuck after a series of events like this it's unreal.

Good luck to Buzzdog1971, he's trying to do now what I've been trying to do all along. He recently made the move to the $50s and is showing profit over a small sample. I commend him on his work ethic, he's put a ton of volume in at all levels.

Perhaps I'll move down to the $5s and grind my way up again. I have a bankroll, I didn't bust it by any stretch, and I'm still rolled for the $50s by some standards, and far over rolled for the $20s. But if I'm not getting Supernova there's no reason for me to be playing those levels and leaving myself exposed with my weak frame of mind that I'm in.

Perhaps I'll create some sort of grind ethic for the next month. I could start at the $5s, set some guidelines for moving up through the ranks. I dunno... I'm just so torn with all of this. I thought I had it all figured out. I did, really. It was a simple task. Had I not let my game slip through my fingers after that initial downswing things could possibly have continued along. But things went very sour after that.

Oh well. The responsibility was my own. This will still be my largest profit month ever, but it still will mark my worst month ever, unless I can bust myself somehow next month.

This has all been very taxing. The play came effortlessly, I actually enjoy putting in volume. But when it came to a point where I was losing every session, every day, it became something else. It makes you question every move you're about to make. When you have guys calling your shoves with Ax and they think they're making the best hero decision of the day, not knowing they're really just costing us both large amounts of money. It really deflates you. I feel so flat after all this.

I dunno... I'm gonna go make some plans of what I want to do next month. I can't see me stopping playing this month either. I like playing too much. I probably need a break though. Had things continue to go well I would've looked to move to cash in the new year... I'm rolled for $50NL in my own terms but I had hoped to afford a coach and get a little bit more serious than just buying some video subscription. That's not really an option anymore.

Since I won't be obtaining Supernova I can begin to spread my play back to Cake again if I so choose. I hear they've been having some software issues as of late however, so that may not happen. It's too bad that they can't get the money out there to get an amazing software like Stars. Wish the fishiest player pool and 33% rakeback it would be great.

I'll probably grind my rakeback money a bit there at the beginning of next month... I haven't decided if I'll try to maintain Platinum on Stars or not. Speaking of which I'll have to decide what I want to do with my FPPs. I can either take them to 5400 FPP sats or buy the $650 cash bonus....

********************

I think I'll hold off on using my FPPs for at least awhile longer, just in case I can make a comeback and achieve SN by year's end. It's obviously my play that got me where I'm at right now so I think I'll just move to the bottom of the barrel and tweak my game. I'll move up based on how well I feel I'm playing. If I can get back on my game by December 1st then I may feel confident enough to move back to the $50s and start putting in the volume again. If I can turn it around by then I still have time to get Supernova. I'll keep pressing on. I'm gonna go run a short session at the $5s! lol. What a step backwards. Wish me luck.

Day 11, A Sign of Times To Come?

Things sort of took a turn for the better today. I haven't actually played anything yet, but I got my moneybookers issues resolved and PokerStars caught some cheating fucks so I got some refund monies. That's always nice, I think? I'm gonna have a shower and then hit the games. I'm gonna play really focused with no distractions and hope for the best. It would be nice to book a win tonight because I really haven't booked one in a long time. It would instill so much needed confidence.

The thing with these Double or Nothings is you can't depend on the straight ICM to guide you through. If you did you'll see a lot of the results that I've been having. They are a different beast in the sense you have to pick who your stealing against much more carefully, and sometimes you have to let yourself get run over near the bubble because it's so crucial you cash; taking coin flips is just not an option in these.

I might be a bit hard pressed to get all of my volume in tonight since I slept all day. I'll hopefully at least come close. I've got to force myself back on a more normal sleep schedule so I can try attacking the games during the day to see if there's any signifigant difference. If I can dig out of this hole and get Supernova I'll be satisfied. If I can dig out of this hole before getting Supernova then I'd like to try my chances at the $100s again when I'm rolled. I have a number in mind and I'll stick to it religiously.

I'm trying to contact another good player to see if he's interested in discussing the dynamics of these games. He's done well over a significant sample across several buy-in levels and hasn't suffered an event like mine. I blame mine wholeheartedly on my own play at this point, but in all fairness I am running terrible as well. It's a terrible combination.

Here's hoping things come together a little more today. I'm gonna shower and get grinding.

********************

If this is a sign of the times to come, I don't want the times to come. Holy fuck. I'm still just getting slaughtered. I haven't posted a winning session in days. It's sick. Really, really fucking sick. I'm playing better today than I have been at least, but I still can't overcome. I've probably got two sessions left in me at this rate of loss before I'll have no choice but to swallow my fucking pride and move back to the $20s. I'm just getting murdered. I just can't pinpoint what I'm doing. I know the last few days have just been terrible play, but even playing my best I still can't book wins.

I'm really hoping tomorrow I can finally turn things around. I'm gonna leave things where they're at tomorrow and try to get a decent night's rest so I can play some in the afternoon rather than sleep it away. I'll book all play at the $50s tomorrow assuming I don't drop under my BI requirement. If I do drop under the requirement and can't make a go of things I'll have no choice but to forfeit trying to get Supernova. Which is just awful to me, it's literally the only thing I wanted to have happen for me around Christmas. It's killer.

I'm gonna start talking to another player who's crushing these, we've AIMed up so hopefully I'll have a chance to pick his brain fairly soon. It'll be nice making pals with someone who's playing the same games, I've really had no contact with anyone else playing these outside of the forums and I don't feel the level of comprehension there is the greatest. I can't say much, I'm not sure my level of comprehension exists at this point.

If nothing will make you doubt yourself, having an awesome run at some games and then just getting murdered will really blow your confidence. I'm openly willing to admit that only a small part of this was running bad. The rest came from me letting terrible play creep in due to tilt. But even with recognizing this and now, at least today, playing better and still being slaughtered... it's difficult to put into words.

At points I feel drained from it all, at other times I just want to fucking overcome it so I can get Supernova without having to go broke online in the process. I could easily add a bit more to re-roll myself for the $50s if things continued to go bad, but there's absolutely no point in achieving Supernova if I'm no longer a winning player at the games I had planned to make most of my moves with next year.

It's tough. It's a brutal game. This is the worst stretch I've ever been through, unquestionably. It would mean a lot to me as a person to be able to find a way to get over this hump; it would be show real perseverance. I'm hoping I can manage and still put in the numbers required to get Supernova. It's seriously the only thing that's keeping me going right now. Normally if I was having a tough time I'd just give up, take a lengthy break, come back at it some time down the road. I've always done that. But it's cost me money in the long run because it doesn't allow me to advance myself, my bankroll, and continue growing.

Don't get me wrong, there's been no growth this past week and a half. If I can finish this month where I'm at right now I'll still be satisfied, but if I continue to get killed I'll be somewhat disappointed. It will still likely be my best month ever, barring some crazy tilt induced jump into stakes I don't belong. I don't see that happening, I haven't made mistakes like that in years and don't plan on starting. If anything is left in me for pride it's in my bankroll management skills.

If I don't make Supernova I'm not sure what to do with the FPPs. Actually no, I'm not having this thought process right now because everything is still ago. I'm not making plans for my FPPs because they're still going to be used for cash bonuses if/when I make Supernova. I'll overcome it and get there.

What sucks is that there's no levels in between the $20s and the $50s. If there were my moving down wouldn't be quite as detrimental. I could just grind it out, hopefully get things going and then get back at it. But if I drop below my required numbers for the $50s then I move to the $20s, where I'm incredibly over rolled. It's a major losing scenario from all standpoints. There's no way I could play the number of games required at the $20s, it's just not humanly possible with school and such.

So there's not much more I can do than hope tomorrow goes well. It's pretty much the deciding factor as to whether or not I get to get Supernova. I may adjust my BI requirement depending how things go, just because I'm going to be so over rolled for the $20s if I do have to move down. I dunno... here's hoping things go well I guess.

Day 10, Okay There Pony

I'm pulling back the reins here a bit 'cause things just aren't going my way right now. I'm stepping down until further notice from the $100s and forcing myself to dig myself out of this hole at the $50s. My play is terrible right now, I'm playing too much like it's a chip accumulation SNG. I know better. These aren't your average beast of a SNG.

So the hole I've dug for myself will likely take longer for me to dig out of than it took to get into, but I'll overcome. I'm probably just gonna play through the night since I'm a fucking degenerate. If I even get even by the time I hit Supernova I'll be satisfied in all honesty. I let myself slip and there's no other excuse for it really. I blame moneybookers for putting me on permanent tilt.

Speaking of which I have to call them tomorrow and get this shit sorted out so I can hopefully access my money before next year.

Day 9, Too Tilted To Play

I'm just on severe tilt right now. I can't play while I'm in this state of mind, it would be a terrible idea. Moneybookers is driving me fucking insane with their bullshit verification traps so they can hold your money and collect interest longer. It's just insane the hoops they force you to jump through. At this point they're asking me to provide a screenshots or bank statements showing the minimum deposit they made for me, showing my name, my account number, date and time, withdrawal amount, currency, the fact the deposit came from them. THE FUCKING DEPOSITS ARE WIRE TRANSFERS, THEY ONLY SHOW AS GODDAMN CREDIT MEMOS. How many fucking times I have to relay that information to their monkeys at customer service is beyond me.

So anyways, I resubmitted shit today with my name now attached to it, another hoop they forced me to jump through considering bank statements never include names, never include full account numbers. Once I get my money off of this fucking site I'll never process another transaction through them again. I even added a credit card which was supposed to allow them to charge their bullshit redemption fee to that and allow me to withdraw funds immediately; nope, that just created a fucking trap circle and now they've got my CC info and probably will charge a bullshit fee for something that isn't gonna be processed. I'm so sick of this fucking shit.

********************

Okay, started to cool down a bit. I'm gonna go over a ton of hands right now and then start the $100s tonight. I don't know if I'll play a full schedule of 80+ tonight but I'll get two sessions in at least probably. I'm noticing some spots I wasn't exploiting regulars, both good and bad, at before. I'm gonna incorporate that into my play tonight and see how things go. I'm also going to force myself to go over at least 10 games a day to stay on top of things as well as going over hands regulars are playing.

Getting pissed off at moneybookers makes sense because they're fucking monkeys who are exploiting me, getting pissed off at poker is stupid because they're monkeys I can exploit. It's time to turn the fucking tables.
********************

Well I wouldn't say the tables have turned much, but I'm confident I'm more focused and playing better. I've went over hands from every session I've played tonight except for the one I just finished and I'm going to go over some of them after I post this. I'm noticing quite a few things I was missing out on that I'm glad I'm picking up on. Things I wouldn't have figured out playing 30+ tables continuous at the $50s. I'm also more comfortable now that I've decided to play in sets for a bit.

It's nice to not have to log as much volume since I'm doing sets at the $100s, but it's also a bit nerving to think a bad downswing would force me into the $50s for the remainder of this journey most likely. On days I feel like booking lots of volume I may just drop to the $50s and play fewer tables (than I was playing) continuous. I think with more review my results should come back at the $50s. Today I posted a couple buy-in loss. I was up a couple buy-ins at a couple points also, but that's poker. I sucked out a few times in my last session as well, so I can't really complain.

Something else I may do to mix it up a bit is play some 9-man turbos when they're fishy. I'll probably play the $27s since they'd be equal rake-wise as me playing the $52 DoNs. I figure since it's equal VPPs and although slightly fewer games per hour, a hot run would yield more profit than than a hot run in the DoNs, and a cold run would yield less loss than the DoNs. And I'm comfortably rolled for them also.

The bummer part is the time of day I'd prefer to play is the time of day when the games tend to be the hardest. If I continue to play at the $100s I can counter that by just running all of my sessions during peak hours. It's more difficult to do that when playing the $50s however since I need twice as many games per day, which requires playing at less optimal times of day.

I researched VPP/hand estimates on 2+2 to see if I could possibly play cash of some sort and make it to SN playing fewer hours per day. The best option within my roll would probably be limit poker of some stake but I don't even pretend I have any idea how to profitably play limit. It's like 2 hours a day at 2/4 limit, but that's considering once you have 20 tables running. So it's probably closer to 3 hours. If I knew how to play limit well I'd consider doing it as a way to get a break from the SNG grind once in awhile. I could probably buy some videos and get a good enough grasp to not lose much in the process.

I should probably just avoid that thought process however. Limit is a very swingy game and trying to get a goal like this done while learning a new game would be fucking brutal.

Anyways I'm gonna get some rest and then head to class, probably sleep most of the afternoon away after that since it's 5am now. I'll most likely be logging $100s tomorrow since I won't feel like playing countless hours at the $50s, plus I have to do an assignment. Hopefully I can run well tomorrow.

Day 8, TURN THE FUCK AROUND

Holy fuck. I just had a session where I thought I was doing awesome and finished the session to find myself down again. I really don't fucking know what's up. I hope I'm just running bad but fuck it feels like it must be something else at this point. This is a fucking pain in the ass. I know there's spots I'm giving up because so often you're just flipping a coin and it's pointless to flip coins in a game that doesn't have tiered payouts.

I probably won't continue with the DoNs after I get Supernova, I'll almost positively go back to the 9-mans. There's less of ceiling and there aren't as many regulars. Even an idiot can figure out how to beat DoNs. The average fish could break even if they used their fucking brain.

I'm gonna log more games later. It's all I can do, press on. It's so fucking annoying getting to a point and not being able to climb over that point. I'll just play through it. Nine days of play left of this month, let's fucking hope I can move up at the start of December so I can at least book less volume.

********************

Well, things continue to go bad. I'm playing sloppily now and that combined with playing more tables and running bad is a terrible combination. So here's my thoughts.

The volume is probably getting to me, so I added more tables, which is lowering my skill level significantly. The epic downswing caused me to play more tables hoping to get out faster but it's just been a roller coaster up and down.

I can drop back to playing fewer tables, focus more, and continue playing continuous sets at the $50s. Or, I can drop back to playing fewer tables, play numbered, non-continuous sets at the $100s with a HUD. This will lower my volume per day, it will let me achieve more balance with my daily routine hopefully. I'm rolled for the $100s so that's not a major concern. If things go poorly, then I might sweat a little bit.

I was really hoping that after digging back to almost even again last night that today things would go well and I'd finally be over the initial hump I came to. That obviously wasn't the case. I originally moved to the $50s with fewer buy-ins than I'd be moving to the $100s with. With any luck I'd run well and get my focus back and end the month on a plateau. Worst case scenario is I go on a massive downswing and have to swallow my pride and grind it all out at the $50s playing fewer tables and dedicating more time to studying.

I feel my edge would be a bit larger in the $100s also because I could afford myself the time to play numbered sets and thus use a HUD. I can't afford myself to play numbered sets at the $50s and as a result can't use a HUD since my system bogs down when running a HUD and playing continuous sessions.

There's always the option of not trying to get Supernova this year, but that doesn't sound enticing at all now does it.

Day 7, I Got The Right... To Put Up A Fight

But not quite, could you cut off my light... but my sight, is better tonight... and I might see you in my nightmares.

I've got some shit to to today before I can start playing but I just reviewed more of last night's session and my play is fine. I'm missing a few spots bu nothing that's causing a swing like I just experienced. I wish I knew someone else playing these games so I could discuss some things. I don't like posting on 2+2 because I'm ahead of what those guys are doing so it's just edu-taining the fish.

I'll probably book gross amounts of play today just because I want have anything else to do after I get a few things out of the way. I'll lose my shit if it goes like yesterday though. I don't think it can last like that though. Surely it can't. I'd like to just finish up at the end of the month more than I am now and not go on a disastrous downswing or something. That would be burn my spirit. There's ten days left of play from here on out so I'm sure I can scratch a little more out of the month. It would really suck to end such a great month on a downswing. It would take an amazing bad run to wreck my month altogether, but still.

I've gotta go get showered and head out for a bit. I'll probably log 8 hours today or something insane. If I could book 250 games a day for the next 3 days I'd fancy myself something of an insane volume logger, up there with the other crazy geniuses like Mozart, Beethoven and that one guy who keeps throwing cats at the dumpsters.

Oh yeah my mom called today and whined about the typical bullshit. Lol. I think she wants me to come home. Here's to disowning my family for a month and a half to get to Supernova. I'm a bit of a dick 'cause I did forget my sister's birthday was last weekend. Fuck my life. I'm just trying to get something put away to weather this oncoming economic storm. I have a terrible feeling it will be bad and if it is then my time will be well spent over the next two months attaining this goal. It'll make sense in the end, of this I'm sure.

********************

Well, I'm done playing for the day. I logged over 200 games I think, I think it was 209 if I deleted my folder earlier which I believe I did. So yeah, 209 games for one day is pretty good. I was hoping for more but I'm okay with that. I made some adjustments to my game and added a began playing more tables also, just to get closer to the goal quicker. I contemplated moving up and playing the next level now but I decided against it rather immediately. It was probably just temptation since I was on a downswing. I'm glad I don't succumb to stupid shit like that anymore and I've decided I probably won't move up until December 1, regardless of how well things go between now and then. I figure that way that no matter how bad things may possibly go at the next level I can't bust myself. I'll probably also play fixed sets when I first move up until I get a feel for the games.

I came really close to digging out of last night's hole, only missing it by a few BI. I'm hoping the rest of the weekend goes as well as today so I can maintain my sanity for a few precious hours. I've gotta knock out some homework this weekend too, fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I'm really ready for this semester to be finished now. It's just drawing out on me at this point and I'm just growing bored with it. Second semester has a very similar makeup but at least it will be fresh. Second year looks more exciting as it consists of completely business oriented classes, no economics, no math, no fucking shitty sociology or any of that bullshit. I do have to figure out when I'm gonna take the two language courses I need though, I was hoping to get it done next semester and maybe the second part over summer or something.

I'm not looking forward to cramming though. I've completely got behind on my reading in two of my classes, and one is gonna be an utter bitch to catch up in. I think he's giving us a detailed study outline this time though, so it might not be too bad. My mark on my term paper will determine how hard I study for it. If I killed the term paper it shouldn't be hard to pull off a B+ with very little study for the final as it's not cumulative, and a B+ would be fine. Plus he scales if he notices a trend, so that's a bonus also. I got an A- on the midterm. However if I bombed the term paper and have to crush the exam to get a B average or something, then I'm gonna sweat bullets.

Basically I'm still trying to maintain getting 3.7 GPA or higher this semester and next. My plan is to basically let everything just kinda... slip for the rest of the month now. I'm done classes Dec. 3 and don't have my first final until Dec. 12, and it's going to be one of the easier ones I feel, so what I'll do it start catching up on reading and cramming for the ones I have to worry about during that time period. Arguably one could say I could do that now, but with no classes after Dec. 3 then I can devote at least some of that time I'd otherwise be in class to getting that dry reading done.

Plus at that point I hope to be playing the next level which will mean my volume per day requirement will be virtually cut in half. So only being required to play half as much per day will free up a lot of time as well, which leaves a huge window for long cram sessions if I feel so inclined.

At some point I have to figure out Christmas and what I'm going to do for gifting. I'm really tired of this entire theme of buying gifts for adults. It's so childish. Christmas should be a time geared towards two things, children and family gatherings. Children should be the gift receivers and the adults shouldn't want nor get anything. I could care less if I was gifted to at Christmas. Receiving and opening gifts tends to make me feel uncomfortable as fuck anyways. I don't mind gifting my significant other, that seems right also. But outside of your significant other and children I don't think anyone should expect nor want gifts from you. It's such a fucking money grab these days, and so much money is wasted. I've got shit from last Christmas with tags still on it that I'll probably never get around to using.

I might get creative with shit this year. Maybe throw together a party instead of gifting people. I dunno, but I fucking hate shopping for people so much. Fuck me. I better figure it out soon 'cause that time is creeping up quite fast. All I want for Christmas is Supernova bitches :)

Day 6, A Bullet In The Head

It's fucking runs like this that make me wonder not if Stars is rigged, but just how bad it's rigged. Honest to fuck, I just played some of the most solid poker I've played for 4.5 hours and got murdered. I dropped like 28 buy-ins. I ran into everything imaginable and if I didn't run into it preflop they had it by the river. It was just nasty. I'm convinced I played fine. I'll have to review some shit after a run like that, but holy fuck. I don't think I know any of the other players at this level who have dropped these kind of buy-ins, and I play better than them at every level, not just the bubble. I'm dumb founded. I'm literally shocked by this.

I guess there is a solid reg who had a similar downswing. Not sure how recently it was, but I don't think it was incredibly recent. The games are full of absolutely terrible regulars now making poor call downs and absolutely terrible bubble plays. Plays like you'd see in a 9-man. These fuckers gotta realize these games aren't about chip accumulation. Motherfuckers are gonna catch the bad end of variance real quick with stupid fucking plays like that.

Haha, yeah. I SSed the guy who was playing like that and sure enough, dumb fucker has already had a 60 BI downswing. Stupid fucks. I can't believe I get out done by some of these guys.

Wow this really killed my mojo though, let me tell you. I'm still having an awesome month, don't get me wrong, but this absolutely kills my soul. There's honestly no point in whining about it, but it is really fucking with me. It makes me want to seriously smash the shit out of something. I kept my cool the entire session though. I knew I was getting slaughtered but I pressed on. Things had to turn around and I wanted to book games. But no. I kept getting slaughtered. It was unreal.

The worst of it has gotta be over. I'll press on tomorrow like nothing happened. I'm still getting Supernova. It's just a minor fucking setback. It means I might not be at the next level as quickly as I was subconciously hoping. That just means more work overall, more playing. If I have to knock this shit out at this level as originally planned than so be it. There's still 10 days of play left in this month and I'm already doing amazingly well for myself.

I'll be back at it tomorrow. I'd like to book an intense number of games over the weekend. Surely this run can't continue. Not against the people I'm playing. It would be unrealistic for that to happen. I'd have to call to question Stars RNG for real. The worst of it has gotta be over.

Not sure what else to write. My mind's on fire right now but it's all whiny bullshit. This shit just blew my mind though. Whatever. Fuck it. I'll overcome. I always do. I'm gonna go review some of this shit and finish reading this book. Here's to not running like ass for the rest of the month.

Day 5, Very Ants

Just played a for a fairly lengthy session and ran like crap. I also made a some moves I didn't like but I think it led to me getting reads on a few of the regulars as well so it can very easily be sustained that it was fine. It was still a lame session, flopping bad, shoving into big hands, the standard bullshit. I kept my cool very well through and I was down less at the end of the session than I anticipated, I think. I can't remember how much I actually started the day with though and it seems Sharkscope has me down more than I think I am. Maybe I was up more last night than I thought. I really just don't remember. Not a big deal either way.

I booked 120 games so far today, I'd like to book over 200 today again. Just wanna lower my daily average requirement overall to get to Supernova. So far I'm not burning out but it's only five days in. I'll probably try to log a ton of hours this weekend too. This seriously like a fun hobby to me again. For awhile poker lost its luster because I didn't know what I wanted out of it, what it could offer me. Video games were always fun to me because they had real goals to achieve; leveling your characters, beating the story, unlocked modes, features, characters, boards, areas, guns, shit like that. It had "purpose" in a very loose sense. I'm getting the same feeling playing poker and running for Supernova now.

Yeah the more I think about it the less I liked how I played some spots last session. Anyways, I'm gonna go book another couple hours and try to get some sleep tonight.

Day 4, I'm On My Grind Cousin

I'm fucking tired but sleeping at night seems to be an elusive myth at this point. I just lay there and can never get to sleep. Last night wasn't too bad but today I napped after class (remarkable because I got a ton of sleep) so sleeping tonight is impossible. I must not be getting enough REM sleep or something, it's annoying.

Things continue to go well, I broke Platinum during my first session today. That's the last intermediate goal from here until I hit Supernova, there's nothing between here and there but a shitload of playing. I'm starting to gauge where I want to be by the end of the month and, as I mentioned in the last blog, the cutoff seems to be right around halfway through and just a little bit better. I'd like to shoot for being around 45k to go at the end of November but that's a fairly high number of games per day from now until then and I'd certainly be running a higher risk of burnout; there would be virtually no balance.

I'm yawning but I know I can't sleep. I just laid there for over an hour trying.

Tomorrow's gonna be a test on me and this entire journey. I've gotta read a chapter and study some shit for a quiz on that chapter, as well as having a Calculus quiz, booking volume, followed by waking up the earliest I have to for class at any point in the week, then do the quizzes, etc. and then log volume that day again. It's gonna take some focus and well used naps I think. I'll probably read the chapter after I finish this actually, just to get it out of the way of tomorrow. That way I'll just nap in the afternoon and then run sets in the evening like I did today.

I'm still contemplating when I should take a shot at the next levels. I'm rolled but I'm still not sure I want to jump in so soon; I'm only four days into the challenge and had planned it all out as if I had to do it all at my current level. The prospect of moving up and finishing it with half the work is tempting but leaving myself open to swings I've never experienced before is rather daunting. I'll do it at some point but I'm considering putting it off until the end of the month.

I'm not sure if there's any difference between the levels at all. I actually saw a person who I saw registering for the $100s playing the $50s with me today... he's a lifetime winner but is doing poorly overall in his play at the DoNs. I might take some time to keep an eye on the games and the players over the next week or so and see what's popping there.

Another reason I want to put it off is to have a nice sample size for the $50s. There's a few people I play with who have played a relatively large sample with and I'm just interested in how my sample size equal to that of theirs now would compare. I'd have that size of a sample by the end of the month. All that said if I make the move before then, I do. If not, whatever. I'm not stressing. It's early in the battle for sure, but I'm confident I can make this happen right where I'm at if I have to. If I can step up and knock it out with half the play, I'll still probably play more than would be required. I've got lofty goals. It will make my year if I can pull off Supernova.

Alright, gonna go read up on some boring shit.

Day 3, Marathon?

I'm pretty beat to be honest, I didn't sleep well at all so I just got up really early and got a jump on the day, got some reading in that I was falling behind on for class, etc. When I got home I ate quickly and got at it. I logged about 2.5 hours, just finished. Posted a loss. Ran pretty poor overall, didn't like how I was playing near the end of the session. Don't think it was terrible but I wasn't focusing well.

I'm thinking about finishing off Platinum tonight. It's about 5 hours worth of play or more though so I might not swing it. Basically what my motivation is right now is to get in more games per day than is required on days that I've not got a lot going on. That way if shit comes up I'll at least have some room to maneuver. If I do manage to get Platinum today I'll be pretty impressed with myself.

Unfortunately to achieve this goal I have no choice but to act like all the other brain dead regulars and sign up with no regard for who else is with me. I'm fine with that because I feel I play better than most of them. Doesn't change the fact this is an incredibly lofty goal, playing in any games running or not.

Figured I'd write this now because I'll probably be pretty beat if I do actually log 5 more hours tonight. I'll log at least another 3... the best option is probably to do two 2.5 hours sessions. That very likely will be the scenario. I'd really like to get Platinum tonight though, for some reason. The more games I can get in per day before the week of exams the better. It will lower my average daily volume requirement significantly. It also has the potential to burn my ass out.

I really wish I could book some fucking action for this shit. Prospectively three hundred hours of play and I'll only have whatever profit I earn to show for it, plus Supernova status obviously. Kind of a pain in the fucking ass when you see rejects on the forums taking props on if they can lose $10k in 96 hours at $5NL. Fucking idiots have too much time and money on their hands. I'm trying to make money and these life rejects are betting they can toss it away. If I wasn't dead set on getting this done I'd hunt this mother fucker down for the 96 hours he's doing it and just make constant call downs on his -EV shoves. I could make a killing.

********************Just went and worked out a bit. Felt good. Came back with plans to log a session and I'm slapped with ridiculously long registration lists, even at the $100s. There's only one big winner in the sets at the $50s though. The others are break even at best. I'm wondering if perhaps I'm not the only one trying to reach Supernova through these. Whatever the case is I'm going to jump in the games because like I said before I feel I play better than a good majority of these players. First I'm going to review some calling ranges. I'll probably attach a little something on here before I post it late.

********************

Okay, just played another 95 games. Despite running into sooo many hands with my shoves (I seriously shoved into Aces at least 5 times) I posted another sick session. I fell a handful of games shy of making Platinum tonight, but I could most certainly finish it if I were inclined, it's only another 60 games or so. But I'll leave it at that for tonight. I was burning out during that last session and I'm overtired from lack of sleep last night. I'm hoping I can numb my brain into sleeping soon.

I'm still on pace with this whole thing. I played 181 games today, a bit shy of what I wanted to actually play but still more games than I'm "required" to get in. As a bonus I think I was able to put a few regulars off their game with some of my shoving tonight. I had one guy call me with KQo on the bubble OUTSIDE of the blinds no less. And he wasn't starving for chips. He legitamately thought he was ahead I think.

I'm also crushing my total hours played goal. I'll break 100 this week no doubt. The 120, once considered lofty, goal is also probably out the window. If I keep putting in the volume required for this, which for all intents and purpose I do plan to do, I'm looking at clearing 160 hours. Basically since the goal to attain Supernova is so lofty for this late in the running an hourly goal is almost an afterthought.

The best part is I'm still upset with losing those FPPs so carelessly on Sunday. It was just so out of my character and so tilt induced. I've gotta manage to keep well rested through this so I can hold my own and keep stable. This is a fucking marathon not 1000m sprint. Still so pissed that I can't get action though. Fuck it, I've got a reason for doing this. Making it all more public than a blog nobody reads would just create unwanted attention anyways.

If things continue to go well over the next several days I may take a shot at the $100s and see where things go. If I were able to make things happen at that level, which is the current cap on these games, then I'd literally have to play half as much to get to Supernova. I'd still probably apply the pressure as much as I am now but it would leave so much breathing room.

If I get this done I'm gonna be totally psyched for myself, no matter what level I'm playing to get it. Regardless, it's just a ton of volume. It's literally just a game to me at this point. Some elaborate video game. Notably the best video game I've ever played. It will be an even better video game if I can get to the point of generating 28% rakeback on the most reliable poker site in the world.

With thoughts of Supernovas flying overhead, I'm gonna go sleep. Class early tomorrow. Then more grinding.

********************

Edit: uncountable. I forgot to mention I'm officially over 1/4 of the way to the Supernova goal itself. I'd like to break halfway by the end of this month. Cheers.

Day 2, Variance Rears Its Ugly Face

Uhh, deja vu titling? I played another session last night and became a tilt monkey. I'm not sure how bad I played but I caught on quickly to what was happening and just tried to wrestle through the session rather than playing a continuous session, which is what my fingers were trying to make me do. I followed the my biggest winning day with my biggest losing day yesterday. And it didn't stop there. I woke up early this morning with the intention of playing some satellites to the Sunday Mill and noticed these 6 max hyper turbos they run. In my right state of mind I don't think I'd play these but I did play one and cost myself so much EV it's just gross. 5400 FPPs down the drain.

I tried not to let that get to me too much and just went back to sleep and tried to wake up again and start the day on the right foot. I think I got the most sleep I've gotten in a long time, waking up very late in the afternoon after having went to bed relatively early. The DONs were just polluted with regulars and after the previous day I couldn't brind myself to registering for them. Instead I played a set of $16s and it went well. Those games are still so soft.

As the evening wore on I was chatting with a friend and he mentioned the new season of High Stakes Poker. I don't watch it myself anymore, I haven't since I first got into poker in 2005. It was a great show though, at the time. Dunno about now. Anyways we got on the subject of poker from that and he asked me if I was still playing, how I was doing, etc. I never talk figures with anyone, it's just not something I do. And he knows as much, he was just being general. During the conversation I didn't even think about how poorly yesterday went because I was just caught up in telling him I was having a great month, considering making a run at Supernova etc. From that conversation I grew some further confidence in myself and put things into perspective.

After that the gf and I went and worked out a bit for the first time since we moved here, we're going to start being more regular with it and try to get it done about 3 times a week. It felt good but it also made me realized just how terrible of shape I'm in, and what my eating habbits are doing to me. It's awful too because I always keep the freezer jammed with food to cook and make great meals with but I'm such a lazy fuck about it lately.

After that we chilled for a bit and after she went to bed I decided to play a continuous session and try to make up for some of the day's lost time. It went very well, I played a very focused game and I can think of only one or two plays right off the top of my head that I may have done differently. I played for 5 straight hours and although I'm slightly shy of the daily volume requirement I'm still very within the realm of making SN still.

It's late now and I have to be up early tomorrow to uphold the other end of this chasing Supernova; going to every class from here until classes end. I've been slacking attending one class in particular because the professor is a bit of an annoying fuck and there's nothing in class to hear that I can't gather from the textbook. But regardless, it's a part of the bargain from here on out.

Oh, one other quick thing. It seems a majority of the regulars must be rather religious folk because I only ran into a few of the ones that I normally clash with daily. Just an observation. I've gotta crash now. Here's to shipping another long session tomorrow.

Day 1, Variance Rears Its Ugly Face

Been a swingy day so far. I've played 5 sets and I'm down on the day, I'll play at least one possibly two or three more. I'm definitely going to ship Platinum within 4 days, possibly within 3. Whether or not I'll continue to press on throughout the next month and a half is yet to be determined. It will definitely be a very taxing ordeal, but I feel it would be worth it in the long run. If I don't make it I will most certainly get it by July for next year. I'd rather get it now.

I tried to get some action today on my little venture but found no takers. Apparently 8000 games in a month and a half is peanuts? Whatever reject. Tell you what else pisses me off is this fucking wannabe regs. They just fucking register behind you like it makes sense, like they're not costing us both money. Fucking retards. That's another reason I'm not sure I could keep going with this whole thing, these guys fucking drive me crazy.

Anyways I'm gonna go log some more games and then sleep.

Overcome

So I just knocked out Goldstar, finally. I decided I wanted to make it quick and (with any hope) painless so I decided to just do 3 sets at the $50s. I'm rather happy I did as I crushed and ran really hot, especially during the second set. I just booked my biggest winning day of my life... in fact I just booked a winning day that surpasses any of my previous winning months. I didn't realize it at first, and it doesn't really faze me. I'm too fucking busy worrying about the future of online poker.

After playing a tiny bit of volume at the $50s and seeing how bad some of the regulars are it makes me want to make that run at Supernova more and more. It's a tough decision, it will be a really pressing ordeal and would unquestionably me the most volume I've ever logged and would most likely ever log in such a short period again, unless I found a way to get SN Elite in 2009. It's nearly equivalent to 300 hours of play from now until the new year.

If I went for it I think I can kiss trying to get Dean's Listed this year goodbye. I'd still pass with at least Bs in everything which is fine by me for the opportunity to make money. I'm earning the degree to have something to guarantee me more money in the future, and a passing up what may be a huge financial opportunity now wouldn't make sense from a business point of view. The thing is after a solid downswing I may not be so eager to chase this.

I have to decide immediately or at least put in the required daily volume from here until I decide to back out. If I made a serious run at it I bet I could book a ton of action on it. I wouldn't, however, because it generates too much attention and jealousy breeds envy; I don't need spite calls or doing cute shit in my games. I'd probably book some with a few close friends if they wanted it.

It's a really tempting situation... I'm not sure what to do. I have nothing major due from here until classes end, just the standard assignments and quizzes... then there's nine days between the day class ends and my first exam. Then I basically knock the other 3 out 3 days in a row. If I go for it I have to commit myself to not miss a class now because it's going to be tempting, especially days after I may run bad when I just wanna cover my fucking head and sleep.

Fuck the more I crunch the numbers the more it seems like I could do it. Even if I took off 5 entire days for study I'd pull it off. That's comforting for a study window, but I think that as long as I implement amazing time management I shouldn't have any concerns with crunch-time studying, at least not a full 5 days where I couldn't get any volume at all in. But the window is there if shit happens.

I'm not sure what to do. It's a very tempting situation that I will heavily consider. I'll definitely press on and at least get Platinum at the required daily volume over the next few days to at least gauge the possibility of continuing. At the very worst at least I will have made Platinum for the first time ever. Might as well make it a month of firsts.

If I do make a run at this then I hope Stars creates higher buy-in DONs for 2oo9, as I'd make a run at SN Elite for sure in that case.

Whatever happens I'm gonna sleep on it. I only ran three sessions today and I'll have to run twice that for the next 4 days to get Platinum and gauge the burnout. The Cake's delicious but it's on the back burner while I roast this Platinum Star.

And It Continues...

Still pushing on but it feels like I'm pushing into a brick wall. I recovered from the swing I last posted about and then ran into a very similar situation this evening. I want to just get Goldstar on Stars and move on with my life. It's so frustrating but my results are always like this on Stars and I can never seem to get away from playing on the fucking site. The amazing software and tantalizing VIP tiers entice me to play and I always end up regretting it. I've knocked about $11 off my hourly since I started playing here again. I'm too close to just give up on Goldstar at this point; I want to get it just in case I come back to try and play the $16s next month.

I'm not sure if I'm just absolutely terrible in the Stars DONs or if I'm legitimately running bad. I plugged a few leaks and actually opened up my game in several spots but it just remains so lackluster. I've got about 206 games to play to be done with it, or 83 if I play the $50s which I may just do. I played another set of $50s tonight and lost a buy-in. I ran well too that set, it just boggles my mind.

My plans after I get to Goldstar are to move back to Cake and just finish grinding out the month the way I should have in the first place. I've logged about 63 hours this month, still on pace to make 100 or 120 hours, whichever I please. At this point I feel like giving up but I'm too focused on the long term to do that. I am worn out that. It's been a frustrating run these last few days.

On a plus note I'm most certainly going to ship the small prop bet with sippin. This stands to be my highest volume month by miles and hopefully my highest profit month as well. It already is my highest profit month but there's over half the month left, let's hope I can keep level head intact.

I'm considering buying a video subscription somewhere again and trying to get into cash games again. We'll see how things finish off this month. After moving back to Cake I may be invigorated to continue grinding SNGs throughout December. If it continues going as it has been I may be ready to take some time off.

One thing I've gotta do is get adjusted and start playing during the day again. My schedule is all fucked at this point and I'm logging most of my hours at night, which I think would be fine for playing on Cake but it, oddly enough, seems the Stars DONs are softer during the day.

I'm semi-tempted to make a run at SuperNova this year. I'd have to log insane hours though, even during exam periods. I don't think I could swing that. It's something like 167 $50s a day from here on out. I'd do it if I felt comfortable playing the $50s in continuous sets, but I don't. My roll isn't that padded for them. It would thus work out to playing about 7 hours a day during peak times. 7 hours a day for 48 days, no breaks. If I were to do it continue I could book about 300 games in that same amount of time, almost double what I would get playing 25 game sets. In all honesty I could probably find time to squeeze it in even with getting ready for finals. I can pass the finals without blinking but I'm trying to make the Dean's list this year and see if I can't get some scholarships shipped.

But to make a run at SN in a game that I honestly stand to make very little at seems quite pointless. I'd log so many hours with so little to show for it until after I actually hit SN. At that point I'd be making so many FPPs I could breakeven in the $50s and make money off of bonuses or satellites.

Then again I could make the same run at it by playing the $27s. I don't think I have much edge in those games either though. Sort of unfortunate that I didn't make the consideration to make the SN run as soon as the DONs hit Stars. They were fresh. I probably had more DONs logged on other sites than anybody who jumped at them from the start. I could've got work done early and probably managed to do it in about 100 or 125 games a day.

I guess what my head is telling me is that I'm gonna get some sleep and then knock out Golstar tomorrow at the $16s. I've got this itch to play the 9-mans again and I think I can make more money there anyways, at least on Stars. So I'm gonna play 8 sessions tomorrow probably, since I don't plan to do sets. It'll work out to 168 games, a very small sample. Maybe I'll run hot. Kind of looking forward to it as I haven't stepped foot into a 9-man in so long.

Something else I toyed with doing is moving my Cake roll to Stars and playing the $20 180-mans in late December. I'm not sure what the fields are like nowadays but I think I could probably do alright in them. I also don't know what sort of volume I could do in them. If I could do 20 a day it would be worth it, if not it probably wouldn't.

The Inevitable Has Arrived Upon Thee

So I'm at that point where nothing goes your way. Not much I can do other than play through it. I decided I was going to try and pound it out of the way last night and played for 6.5 hours straight. My intent was to get even by playing as long as it took. I just gave up. I started the session down about 17 BI and then in the next breath I was up 17 BI. At that point I considered stopping but it was still early in the session and I had intended to do a longer session as it was so I kept registering. Boom, another 14-17 BI swing. I only ended the night down like 8 BI according to Sharkscope but I think they must have missed a ton of games because I'm sure I was down more than that... maybe there was less in my account when I started than I thought.

I played 273 games. Seriously tilting to play that long, log that many hours and just get nothing going. I decided that maybe I should just play the $50s so I could get Goldstar quick and just move back to Cake, so that was the first thing I did today. I decided I'd just play sets of 25 and knock it out. First set I ran as well as I did last night. I ran QQ into AK AIPF and flopped the set with no broadway cards, but that's obviously no good. I was just laughing the entire set. The guy I kept losing with QQ and AK to was some guy named meccapoker. I've seen him on Cake a few times too and figured he was probably alright, couldn't tell for sure because his stats are blocked and I wasn't playing the levels he plays on Cake. LLLLLLLLol Boy was I wrong. The guy's a fucking joke, makes some of the worst shoves I've seen from regs in these DONs. He is positive ROI over a very large sample however, so whatever he's doing is working out.

Anyways, overall with that set I broke even to the exact dollar which made me laugh a bit. It's almost like the poker gods are spiting me just by killing my hourly this month with breaking even.

After that I'm not so sure I want to finish up at the $50s or not. The play isn't any better by any stretch but I'm not sure how well I would handle having a big losing session there. I dunno what to do... It's about another 450 $20s to get to Goldstar and about 180 $50s. If I started now and didn't stop until morning I could probably knock it out at the $20s tonight :).

I think what I'll do first is review some of those 25 games I just played and see if there's anything glaring at me. I honestly don't think I'm going to find much but I'm almost hoping I do so I can adjust and start crushing again.

**********

Looks like I'm missing a few things but they're mostly marginal. Anyhow, I've decided to just grind this fucking thing out at the $20s to avoid the possibility to a soul-crushing run at the $50s. After I reach Goldstar it's back to Cake for the remainder of the month. I'm hoping I can move back Friday.

Slack

I was a little slack with playing today and only logged about 3 hours... I would've preferred to do more but I also finished some economics shit and started an assignment for business that's not due until a week from tomorrow. No classes tomorrow due to Remembrance Day but we're gonna be having company in the afternoon so I may be throttled in my attempts to go beyond tomorrow as well. I'd like to at least find time to log about 5 hours.

I played on Stars all day today. I'm a quarter of the way to Goldstar. I'd like to make it by the end of Sunday but that's a very ambitious goal. It's certainly within reach though. I'll probably end up logging somewhere in the vicinity of 1150 more games on Stars this month if things continue as planned. That would leave about 8 days left to grind out some more on Cake. Then again I may move back to cake immediately after getting Goldstar if things aren't as peachy as I'd like on Stars. We'll see.

If things continue to press on smoothly for me this month then my goals for December will be very ambitious again. I'd like to try to get Platinum for the first time ever, with the intention of testing the waters in going for Supernova next year in a relatively low volume manner. But that's just my looking ahead.

In the short term, I'm putting in my most volume packed month ever. I'm halfway to my real goal of 100 hours for November and we're only 1/3 of the way through the month, so I'm ahead of pace right now which is comforting. It makes 120 hours seem possible. If I can manage 120 hours this month then I'll force myself into doing 100 in December and January.

I have nothing else that I can see that I should otherwise be doing. I did notice I was slightly neglecting do give any focus to school stuff but I made myself get some things done ahead of time today as I've been doing up until I started grinding. It's all just a balancing act at this point. I have a clear idea of what I want to achieve with respect to both poker and school and now it's just a matter of doing it.

As I've stressed in this blog before I wasted a free ride through school my first time around. I was a stupid fuck out on his own for the first time, no interest in the program I initially chose, wasn't prepared for what I took on as a course load and just didn't give two fucks about anything. I was a lost soul. I like to think I've found myself more and more in the last 3 years and with that image of what I want in mind, I go after it. No more being lazy about shit. I feel focused. Sure, there's short term variance where I'm just lazy and not with it, but I'm so gearing up for the long run now. Short term things are just obstacles thrown at you along the way.

Tomorrow afternoon might be a good time to get that online midterm done. I wanted to go over the material a bit more but I mean, it's open book and I have access to all of my old quiz attempts. Sounds like a lax class but he tries to get you by having an in person, closed book final worth 60% of your grade; read: you fail the final you fail the course, so know your shit.

Okay my body is telling me it's ready to sleep now so I'm out. Here's to finding time to log 6 hours tomorrow!

In a Perfect World

Things are continuing to go well. I've logged 4.75 hours today so far but I'm down a bit. Was up until I logged the last couple hours and just ran really bad. I'm off my game a bit right now too because the Cake freezing is getting me upset. I know it's costing me EV so it's causing me to resort back to playing sets rather than continuous, to try and avoid a freeze situation. The problem with sets is it's going to hurt my hourly as well. So it's like what's causing me to lose more money, playing sets and having an hourly loss or playing continuous and running into freeze issues. I'm almost thinking dealing with the occasional freeze is optimal because it lets me get in more games per hour by playing continuous.

Whatever it is I'm doing what I normally do after a day of running bad -- I'm moving to another site for a day or two. It's mostly for a change of scenery that I do this. It will also let me relax and not stress over freezing issues. With my doing this I'm locking in a commitment to get at least Goldstar on PokerStars this month, since it's my only shot to generate some rakeback for the play I do commit there. It will take a fairly large chunk out of the rest of my month to do it though and if my hourly is significantly lower I may regret it.

I'm torn. Not sure where to turn right now. I'm comfortably making money but a stable software would put my mind at ease. But to do that I have to give up an impressive rakeback. I've also been looking at some deals on Ongame and they're very, very impressive. I don't know how stable their software is either, or if it could support my volume of play. I hear the play is quite bad there also, which tempts me to test the waters.

Then there's the temptation to move back to playing 9 man regular payouts. If I were able to hone my game to the right level they'd be more profitable for me I think, but omg the swings. Dunno... wish Cake would quit freezing.

I Ain't Really Trippin' 'Cause The Pots Is Pissed In

Coming off an incredibly tilt inducing session. Things just weren't going my way. To start off I was running very well and looking forward to logging a few hours. Midway through things were going downhill. Once I was on the final stretch Cake decided to freeze, so I had to run and log in from my desktop. After that took its sweet fucking time loading up I was back in business and ready to finish off the session. I posted a win, but that's not the point. Well it is, but there's more to it than that right now.

I'm trying to move up levels now as I mentioned so I was incorporating the higher buy in games this session; it's the weekend, the donks should be out in full force. There weren't too many regulars joining my games so I felt alright, and I'm willing to bed I play better than most of them anyways. The session finished and I checked where I'm at with the higher buy ins and over a small sample I'm down about 3 buy ins or so. Not a huge issue but I can't determine if it's due to more regulars in the games or if I'm just running bad over a small sample. It means nothing in the long run but I think I've decided to stop incorporating them into my sessions, at least for the remainder of this month. I'm doing well as it is and I don't need anything to tilt me off my game right now. I'm on pace for my best month ever.

So far I've logged 37 hours this month. I hope to put in at least another 3 later this evening. If I keep this pace for the month I should surpass my set goal. It's still pissing me off that just a small sample is bringing my hourly down relatively significantly. Oh well. I'll just stop playing them, for the month at least, and keep pushing on with my regular levels. I do think it's partly running bad though, because I think I recall getting sucked out on and coolered at least for a couple of those games. It would be easier to gauge if I could get more of them running at once and just knock out a large sample on them on their own. Pretty sure I can beat them longterm. I'll wait and see next month.

Whatever it is, I'm gonna eat this meal, have a nice long, hot shower, then grind more. I'm infected with intention right now. There's no stopping me. 120 hour month one time? Followed by a 100 hour month two times? Let's see what he can do.

You Ain't Grindin' 'Til You Tired

Today was just one of those days where I'm pretty much on tilt for the day and there's no way out. I still logged some hours and I'm still pleased with my play overall but holy fuck Cake has got some software issues. Honestly, take the fucking money you're making and order up some premium software and take over the industry. Sometimes I wonder if monkeys are running these businesses. If it wasn't for the software periodically freezing up on me I'd be very confident in saying my hourly rate would be at least a couple dollars higher. Their shitty software is costing me money. The sad part is it's still better money than I can make anywhere else right now.

My goal is to log 100 hours this month and next. I'd like to get truly ambitious and do a bit more than that if the opportunity presents itself. So far I've booked about 30.5 hours. That's 5 hours a day average so far, a nice pace to have set for the month. I'd like for this to be a month of growth. Once my bankroll hits certain milestones this month I'm going to be incorporating higher buy-ins accordingly. I worked in a few of the next buy-in I want to play today. I planned to log a long session and just keep loading but I noticed a boatload of regulars playing that level and decided I'd be better off to wait until tomorrow night and the rest of the weekend.

For being 20% through the month and having already completed 30% of my goal I'm very happy with myself thus far. These next two months I plan to really work myself hard. I'm hatching growth. I want to diversify myself with poker as I depend on SNGs too much. I've always said and I'll continue to say, I want to be good at cash games. I'm interested in getting a coach but I'm not prepared to pay the money most coaches are asking for. I have a feeling that's the way to move from the state of marginal success that I have in cash right now. I'd love to have someone take my under their wing and mentor me.

If I could get Cake to stop freezing (and thus inducing tilt) then I'd log soooo many hours this weekend. I just want to sit and play but it's so frustrating when shit craps out and you've gotta rush around trying to get your games loaded back up. It wouldn't all bad if my desktop keyboard was working remotely well, then I could just move to that whenever shit hits the fan. However my keyboard wants to work only when it's convenient for it. I'll keep you posted if that ever happens.

Had I not played a few of the higher buy-in reg infested games I'd be up on the day. As it stands I'm down about a buyin and my maximum level right now. I can live with that since it's just been a fucking rollercoaster all day.

Anyways, I've gotta try to get a keyboard tomorrow if possible so I have some backup for playing. And now I need sleep.

Oh Fuck, Cereally?

I can't believe I forgot to mention and congratulate Barack Obama on his historical moment. I'm truly looking forward to seeing what the next four years hold for us as a Global Economy under fresh leadership. We've never been more of a Global, Nationalized, Economy than we now are. I think it's going to be a beautiful time in history. Then again I'm stoned.

I'm Not a Chicken But My Fitted's Cocked

Pretty much only making this post to put off studying for this quiz more. Forgot I had this quiz this week, no big deal but it means studying I hadn't otherwise planned on doing. I also have a calculus quiz I'm rather confident I'm going to fail because I suck at word problems. O wellz, got like 84% on the midterm so that's fine for now... I'll work more on word problems before the exam. Fuck a < 1% quiz.

Just trying to focus right now on everything really. I logged about 1.5 hours after classes, it went well. I might even put another hour or so in before I start studying. I can't decide how much time, if any, I want to dedicate to Stars this month. I just keep thinking about the a guaranteed rakeback payment and wonder why I want to chase silly tier levels.

Dunno but I'm gonna go get something done instead of wasting time now. Probably log an hour or so and then study for a few. Peas.

Not Tranquil, But Maybe Lucid

So I survived the midterm bonanza. I wasn't too worried about much, I felt prepared and on top of everything but it's still nice to get that out of the way. I still have one more but it's open-book-online so that's causing me about as much unrest as dropping a nickle in a storm drain. I was going over my final exam schedule and realized my last day of actually attending class is, as of today, less than a month away. And my first exam isn't until 9 days after that. It's giving me an awesome opportunity to log a ton of hours.

I've decided the summer management program would hurt me more than benefit me right now. The opportunity to get the experience to manage a business is great, but financially I think not tying my time up in the winter, spring and summer with commitments to that would lead me to not play nearly the volume of poker I'd like to, and I think I stand to make more with that time by investing it into poker right now. Experience is good, but I think focusing on school and poker are key right now.

I'm off to a great start for November so far, my play is very focused after taking a break for tests. Where I was coming off a substantial downswing I welcomed the break, but eventually I always get to the point where I'm going through my volume goals for the next month and a breakdown of how I'm going to try and achieve those goals. I played a session late in October that I'm just tying into my November hours right now, since it was just so end-of-the-month. So far I've logged about 15 hours, roughly. If I could do find a way to dedicate 100 hours this month I'd be rather impressed with myself.

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Well, just lined up a small prop for the month, most volume played winner type deal, with zipping_pong. Gonna take it down obv. I can't decide which site I want to dedicate more of my time. I'm free to split it up though, so it's basically where I figure I'll make more money overall.

Anyways, I'm gonna shower cause I smell like funk and then I'm gonna play some of this Texas Hold'em I've been hearing so much about.