My frustration continues to leak through during sets as my hands don't hold up or I get it in behind in standard shove spots. It's really annoying that I'm getting frustrated, and it go so bad today that I had myself convinced I was a terrible player (and I did play one set poorly as a result today, but a quick review of the session patched that quickly). It actually got to the point where I could no longer bear waiting until Friday or after Thursday's last session to check my cashier; I had to know now what shape I was in. I was convinced things were progressing along awful.
It was quite the opposite. I'm having one of my best sets of volume at this level I've ever so far recorded. I was sufficiently and pleasantly surprised. However, I'm also now at a loss as to how I'm going to work to control myself better. I think a more regular and committed exercise regimen will assist greatly, but I felt so unmotivated today that I didn't even go for a jog despite the continuing beautiful (albeit cold, today) weather.
Something about today had me making games so much harder than they really are, for one session I felt as though I was splashing around in spots like an uninformed novice again, thinking "Where is this magical trick that makes me win?". Of course, there's no magic. It's just doing what I've been doing, the trick is not getting caught up in how individual hands play out as long as the hand was played to the best of my ability for the specific spot, and if it wasn't the next trick is realizing that, reviewing that spot, figuring out the optimal play, and having that in my arsenal for the next occurrence.
I'm going to reach out to a few long-term winners over the next week and see if they can offer advice. It's really just a self control thing, but I can use all the help I can get to be honest. I've been pretty terrible these last few days and after seeing my results are flourishing, I'm not sure what more I can ask for other than self control.
I also need to get into doing things outside of poker. I really don't do anything all day long, and I should be quite ashamed to admit the amount of time I've really just been wasting. If I'm not playing, I'm usually either surfing on Reddit, various blogs, 2+2, or P5s. I haven't yet ordered any of the new books I want to read. I dunno. Kinda in a life rut that I'm hoping I'll come out of as we progress into summer months and better weather, which I'm sure will be the case.
I might jump a plane to Toronto sometime this summer and chill with Shawn so I can play some live cash and be a degenerate drunk for a week. It's something I don't really do enough of lately and I think I'm due. I definitely need to get away to somewhere this summer and do that, and I've been itching to play live for awhile too so it would be a win-win really.
Over the next few days I'm going to play enough to break or 20,000 VPPs year-to-date, which leaves 80,000 to Supernova. I get Supernova this year without much thought, the question is when. If my SNG 9-man game can become as solid as I'm working on getting it then I think it will be achieved via 9-mans, which unfortunately means it may take a better part of the year. But there are still unanswered variables, such as if I'm able to move up another level or two this year, whether I foresee a switch to DoNs as more profitable still, how my sanity holds up, etc. I'd also love to take some shots at some MTTs but I wouldn't even consider it without a backer, I just don't have the roll to handle the swings that come with such things.
Other than my self control issues, I'm pretty bored with things right now. It's still early on for my break though, I've got 3/4 of it left to make things more interesting and enjoyable. Right now I've got grind @ mind. GL.
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