Insatiable

I'm starting to feel this way. I think it's because I'm not in a position right now to be completely free from externalities. I'm still fundamentally dependent on outside sources to meet various basic requirements. A lot of this stems from not having my own vehicle. That stems largely from not wanting one, and the minor fact I don't have a license. Honestly, I don't want the burden that a car embodies. However, it would complete my circle of being free, for the most part.

A car means insurance, repairs, gas costs. It's certainly not something I'm prepared to take on at this point, without much question. I don't want that sort of bog down when I'm not even sure of my plans for the next 12 months. That doesn't change the fact I feel trapped without one. I hate depending on people, and lacking a car leads directly to this.

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After crunching some numbers things are a little clearer in my mind. I've gone this long without wheels so I can grind through another month and see where things get to. After breaking things down, I think I could swing getting a vehicle now to be honest. Grinding another month allows me to comfortably move up and test the waters. If things go well with the progression then I'll plan to get a vehicle in August, which still isn't that distant in the future. I just have to shack this shackle of not having mobility before school starts again. The first of August would be prime.

On the poker front things have been well. I fell a bit shy of my volume goal for the weekend. Yesterday my sleep schedule got upset with a third failed attempt at having a kayak delivered to me, which is another story. As a result I only ended up booking one solid session during Saturday's hours, as opposed to the two or three sessions I would have preferred. Today I was just kinda feeling out of it all day and my sleep schedule is still wonky so I'm running through on no sleep to readjust to something I'm more intune with. Playing on no sleep isn't an option, so I'm taking the day off today. I'm still only around 50 games shy of the 800 goal I think. Had I played today I would've crushed those numbers

The individual I was buying the kayak from called me and told me he was coming out to deliver, and called back 20 minutes later after noticing a sizable dent in the underbelly of the kayak, which he assumed occurred during the shipment process from the order he received this week. He had an orange colorway of the same model, but after looking at pictures he sent me I just wasn't interested in it. It reminded me of a lifeboat or something, it was very hunter-orange. He thought it would be two or three weeks before he placed and received his next order, but luckily his supplier is making a trip through this area tomorrow and he'll be able to swap the damaged kayak for the colorway I chose and he'll be delivering it tomorrow night.

I'm also going to pick up my iPhone tomorrow. I'm pretty stoked about that. I mulled it over forever now and it just makes sense. I want a backup internet source and the data plan I'm getting allows 6GB of usage, so that's more than enough in case my internet ever craps out and I need to use it to play out a set with. More importantly, if I do in fact move up next month and if the internet ever did crap out and I had no backup, I'd lose over half of what the entire 3 year contract would cost me to begin with, so it just makes good sense. Fuck dollars, make sense.