Really out of my element right now. My mindset is shot. I can't focus to put in long sessions, and when I do log a short session it's brutal. I don't feel confident at all anymore. I'm on up the month but I'm also on a huge downswing from where I've been this month. I really don't feel like the style I'm playing is the style I was winning with so hard during the middle of last month. The adjustments I've made since have yielded mostly negative results. I've never swung at this buyin level like I'm swinging right now, so either I'm running like complete shit or this style is complete shit.
I'm considering moving down a level again. I need to figure this shit out again, but I'm not myself so it's making it terribly difficult. I have no determination, I'm straying, lost. I probably need a break, but that's just gonna make me further lost. I may take the next two days regardless. Use it for review and gaming, use it to just feel away from it even if only to learn.
It's still just poker. It will always throw you this fucking curve, regardless of how good things appear to be going. It's not humbling though, it's humiliating. It literally feels like poker amnesia. Every time, it feels the same. This is it, I've forgot how to play again, is this it? The bottom gonna come out of this shit now? It always comes to that for me.
I feel like nobody else can humble me, so I'll humble myself. Moving down seems like the most humbling option but I could just be cutting my own throat for profits. I guess it will just be a ton of studying, a break. Find a way to calm myself the fuck down and get some volume in.
Thoughts have been run to move back to 9mans also. I'm really at an annoying bump in the road, I just don't know.
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